


Pretend to Be

by totheendoftheworldortime79



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Secret Relationship, slippery damerey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:27:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25643545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totheendoftheworldortime79/pseuds/totheendoftheworldortime79
Summary: Poe heads out on a mission but comes back injured, which gets him in trouble with a certain Jedi. Slippery Damerey Fest.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 19
Kudos: 87
Collections: Damerey Discord Shenanigans





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is in two parts. The first is pre-TROS; the second is Post-TROS.

Rey emerged from the forest with BB-8 on her heels. People and aliens dashed about the clearing that served as the Resistance hangar; mechanics fueled up their few fighters while pilots checked their systems. There was clearly a mission happening that she wasn’t privy to. Her eyes flickered to the _Falcon_ , sitting like a hulk on the edge of the clearing. She’d been begging Leia for permission to join in the fight against the First Order, but to no avail. Her training was more important, Leia always said.

What good training would be if their small fleet were destroyed, Rey didn’t know. She just wanted to get out there. She felt useless as she watched her friends go off on mission after mission, never knowing if they would come back.

Against her will, her eyes moved to a unique orange and white X-wing. Its owner moved around the ship, checking systems and prepping for takeoff. BB-8 rolled straight to his master; Poe’s frown flipped to a knowing grin as he knelt to greet his friend. Rey felt her cheeks heat; the droid alone announced her presence. Poe scratched BB-8 on the dome, his dark eyes searching for her. She thought about ducking over to the command center, but that would be pointless. Poe knew she was there.

When he found her, she saw his eyes light up with happiness. She fought the answering tug on her lips; she couldn’t seem to help it when he was around. Then he stood and succeeded in taking her breath away.

Gods help her.

Poe Dameron was roguishly handsome on a normal day. Rey was not blind, nor was she immune, no matter what the old Jedi Code said. In the year she’d known him, getting to know the kind—if sometimes cocky—man only made him _more_ attractive, not less.

Poe was already wearing his flight suit, only the top was currently tied around his waist, revealing the sleeveless undershirt that clung to his torso. Alan Kloss was a fairly humid planet; the edges were already stained with sweat. His curls were a mess; she itched to run her fingers through them.

Since he’d spotted her, there was no reason to stand there gawking; she wanted to know what the mission was. _That’s not the only reason,_ her traitorous mind reminded her. She weaved around the scurrying mechanics and flight staff, Luke’s lightsaber bouncing against her leg. “What’s the mission?”

Poe cocked a brow at her. “Nice to see you too, Sunshine.”

“Poe,” Rey hissed.

“Nobody’s watching,” he said loud enough for her to hear.

He needed to move out of her space; all that golden skin exposed was distracting her. “Just answer the question, flyboy.”

He sobered. “Intel says the First Order is getting ready to raid Abafar. Leia wants to see if we can thwart their efforts.”

Again, she felt the stab of uselessness. “What’s on Abafar?”

“Some powerful explosive. I didn’t pay that much attention. She had me at raid.”

Rey fought the urge to roll her eyes. “Shouldn’t the squadron leader pay a bit more attention?”

His eyes raked over her. “I do. For the really important things.” He stepped a bit closer. “Like a certain Jedi I know. I try to pay _very_ close attention to her.”

Heat bloomed in her belly; she balled her hands into fists, lest she grab him and kiss him senseless the same way she had weeks ago when this all began. She was weak when it came to Poe Dameron; it was one of the reasons she knew she’d never be the Jedi Luke was. But staring into Poe’s eyes, she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Poe, people can see…”

“So?” They were curled away from most of the activity, huddled near the wing of his ship. Poe curled his right hand around her hip; her heart began to thud rapidly in her chest. “We can’t hide forever, you know.”

“I know,” she whispered. She didn’t _want_ to hide this thing between them, but there was a war on! She couldn’t bear the disappointment she was sure she would see in Leia’s eyes if she knew. Rey’s feelings for Poe were selfish. She wasn’t sure exactly what she felt, aside from the fact that he made her happy. When they weren’t fighting, of course. They did plenty of that too. _There’re more to it than that,_ she thought. She shoved that away; it was so exhausting trying to guard her mind from _him._

Poe stared in her eyes for a long minute; she thought he might kiss her. But he didn’t. “I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.”

“Be careful, okay? Beebee-Ate’s my favorite training companion.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Sunshine. I’m taking Artoo.”

“Why?” BB-8 was the best astromech in the fleet; if Poe was going on a mission, then she wanted his faithful friend there. Someone had to look out for Poe; he was far too reckless for her liking.

“Because…” He trailed off, uncomfortable suddenly. “Leia asked…”

He was lying. Rey knew he was lying, but she didn’t call him out. This thing between them—whatever it was—was both fragile and intense. Neither mentioned feelings or anything of the sort. It was very much an ‘in the moment’ kind of thing. There _was_ a war on. Every mission could be the last. “Well, if Leia asked…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Poe said, sounding relieved. There was more shouting; Poe frowned. “I gotta go.”

“Right, yeah.” She looked him over one more time, the way she always did when he left, fixing him in her memory. Just in case. She found his hand on her hip and squeezed. Then she stepped back. One step, then two, three, four. Poe gave BB-8 another quiet order; the droid beeped and rolled promptly to her side. She waited until his flight suit was zipped up and his foot was on the ladder. “Poe!”

“Yeah?”

“Be safe.”

He smiled. “I will.”

Rey and BB-8 hurried out of the way as engines fired all over the clearing. She stood on the edge of the command center, her gaze locked on the orange and white X-wing. The canopy closed; she saw Poe speaking to R2-D2. If he was going to leave BB-8 behind, R2 was the next best thing. The astromech might be old, but he was brave and highly capable. Leia had told her stories of the many scrapes the little droid had gotten them out of during the Civil War. He would look out for Poe.

* * *

“Rey?”

Rey put down the book; she wasn’t reading it anyway. “Sorry, Master.”

“That old book can’t be _that_ interesting,” Leia said, sitting on one of the crates in Rey’s little loft.

“It’s not, I was just…” Then she realized what she’d said. “Nevermind.”

“Trying to distract yourself?” her Master said kindly.

“Yes, I mean, no. I tried to mediate, but…”

“Rey, you don’t need to explain. It’s okay to worry about people you care about.”

She blinked, panic flaring in her chest. “Leia, it’s not…”

“Calm down, Rey. I’m not here to scold you. Force knows I am the last person who could lecture you on all those supposed rules. I’ve always had a talent for breaking the rules.” Leia looked down at her knowingly. “And I think you do too.”

“How long have you known?”

“A while. But I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to.”

Rey sighed in relief. “Thanks.” It felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest. Someone knew her secret and didn’t judge her. It meant a lot to her.

“Just don’t wait too long to really put yourself out there, Rey. It’s one of the most frightening things in the galaxy, but with the right person, it’s liberating.”

That sounded strange to her. She was about to ask what Leia meant, but suddenly there was shouting. “They’re back!” someone yelled.

Rey was up in a flash, racing for the clearing. One by one the various fighters returned; Rey scanned the skies for Poe. He was one of the last to land, the pristine paint on his ship now marred by cannon fire. One of the S-foils was cracked; there was missing chunk of hull near R2’s socket. The droid was in one piece though. She hovered on the edge of the clearing until the engines shut down and canopy popped open. Poe moved slowly, tugging off his helmet one handed.

He looked around, smiling faintly when he spotted her. Her pulse slowed a bit; it was good to see him alive and in one piece. But when she saw him wince, her stomach dropped. What happened?

Poe climbed out of the fighter gingerly, his left arm jutting awkwardly in his flight suit. Rey desperately wanted to rush over to him, but she held herself back. Leia might be fine with her and Poe, but Rey knew there were other reasons for her to be discreet.

Leia appeared. “Report?”

Poe sighed. “There was a raid alright. We got most of ‘em though. The First Order won’t be trying in that sector again any time soon.”

Leia nodded. Rey could feel the exhaustion and discomfort coming off Poe in waves. “Alright, Commander. Get Kalonia to look at you. We’ll go through a full debrief later.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Poe started walking toward the med bay; Rey fell into step beside him.

“What happened?”

“Pretty sure I dislocated my shoulder,” he said, wincing in pain. “We took a couple rough hits; I’ll be fine.”

Rey worried her lip between her teeth, but she said nothing. She remained nearby as the doctor looked him over. Poe wasn’t the only member of the squadron that had been injured; fortunately, none of the injuries were serious. Poe grit his teeth as they popped his arm back into the socket. He didn’t cry out, but the discomfort was written all over his face. Kalonia gave him a shot for the pain and tried to keep him for more tests, but Poe wasn’t having it.

“I’m fine,” he said, standing up.

“That shoulder will bruise,” Kalonia warned.

“I’ll live.” He glanced meaningfully in Rey’s direction; she didn’t hesitate to follow him out. Most paid them no mind as they moved through the base to Poe’s quarters. The moment the door hissed shut, Rey spoke.

“What really happened out there, Poe?”

“I told you. We stopped the raid, sent the First Order packing. What else is there?”

She pointed to his shoulder; his arm hung limply in his flight suit. “You got hurt!”

“Newsflash, Rey, this is a war! People get hurt!”

“Don’t you start lecturing me about the war, Poe Dameron!” she shouted. Thank the Maker the walls were thick, or half the base would have heard them shouting. “Don’t you know how much it kills me to stay behind when people I lo..care about are in harm’s way?”

“You seemed really broken up when I left!”

She blinked, hurt. “Poe, that’s not fair! We talked about this!” Did he think she _liked_ sneaking around and pretending that he wasn’t more than just her friend? She hated it!

“Yeah, well, maybe I want to talk about it again!”

“Leia knows,” she snapped.

“Knows what?”

“She knows about…us.”

Poe tried to put his hands on his hips, but the left came up short. He hissed in pain and turned away. “So, there’s an ‘us’ now? When was I going to get the memo, sweetheart?”

“Poe, why are you being like this?”

“Because…” He sighed. “Because there was a moment. Just one, but it felt like an eternity. Where I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it back to you. And to know that I couldn’t even kiss you goodbye…”

Rey closed the space between them and yanked him into a bruising kiss. She kissed him like both their lives depended on it. Poe didn’t try to push her away; he used his uninjured arm to pull her closer, his tongue tangling with hers. She felt his fear melt away as he got lost in her. “I’m sorry,” he breathed between kisses. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

He stole another kiss from her lips. “For everything. I didn’t mean what I said, Sunshine. We can do this any way you want.”

Rey leaned her forehead against his. She was supposed to be a Jedi, but she felt the most alive when she was with Poe. “I want to be with you, Poe. I want…us. I do. But I’m also a Jedi and until I can figure how those two things fit together…”

He kissed her forehead. “No, I get it. I can wait as long as you want.”

“Well,” she replied, biting her lip. She knew her attitude didn’t make sense, but she couldn’t help it. She’d never done anything like this before. She was grateful Poe was so patient. “You don’t have to wait for some things. I could…stay tonight if you want.”

He chuckled. “In that case, I could, uh, use some help. You know, showering and stuff.”

She giggled. “Stuff huh?”

He gave her ass a firm squeeze. “Think you can handle it?”

“Oh, I think you’re gonna be the one who can’t handle it, Commander.” It was easier to fall back into their flirtatious banter than to confront what they felt.

“We’ll just have to see about that, Sunshine.” His roguish grin made her knees weak. She pressed herself against him, slanting her lips over his. Poe didn’t hesitate to kiss her back, grunting a bit as she pressed him back against the door to his quarters. His arm still hurt like a bitch, but that didn’t stop him from cupping Rey’s ass in both hands and squeezing. He’d been on a few missions since they started this; today was the first time he’d felt afraid. Afraid of not seeing her bright hopeful smile or hearing her laugh. Force, he loved her laugh.

“This isn’t…showering,” she whispered, the ache building between her thighs.

“This is more fun,” he murmured, pulling her closer so she could feel how she affected him.

“And here I thought having me naked and wet was the kind of fun you were going for,” she whispered in his ear.

Poe groaned. “You’re definitely right about that.”

She curled her hand into collar of his flight suit. “Let’s get you out of this.” He followed her to the fresher, then leaned against the doorframe as she started the water to the shower. He’d learned that Rey loved showers; they were a luxury she’d been denied on Jakku. Once she had the water set to the right temperature, she turned back to him. “You’ll have to lean against the sink.”

Poe did as she asked, drinking her in as she started to peel off his flight suit. She worked with quick efficient movements, seemingly all business, but Poe knew better. Her fingers lingered on his skin a second too long; her eyes were filled with an emotion he couldn’t name. He winced a little as she worked the left arm out of the suit. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” The painkillers Kalonia had given him were starting to work; the pain faded to a dull ache.

The top of the suit hung from his waist; Rey smoothed her hands over the straps of his undershirt. It was nearly soaked through with sweat, the tight material outlining his toned physique. “I have to take this off,” she said, unnecessarily. “It’s gonna hurt.”

“Do it.” Poe sucked in a breath as her fingers skimmed across his skin as she peeled the shirt up and over his head. It did hurt, but he’d had worse. Before he could say anything, Rey kissed him, tenderly at first, but it quickly grew heated. Poe tangled his right hand into her hair, tugging eagerly at the ties that held the buns in place. “Rey, gods…”

“Here.” She reached back and removed the ties, tossing them away. Poe ran his fingers through her chestnut locks, pulling her in for another kiss. She was so beautiful; he’d been drawn to her the moment he met her. He never in a million years thought he’d be standing in his fresher with her in his arms like this.

She broke the kiss when she finally needed air, but she still ducked her head to press a tender kiss to his injured shoulder. Then she gave him a mischievous look before dropping to her knees. Poe stared at her as she tugged off his boots and peeled the flight suit down his legs. Once it was discarded, she didn’t stand right away; she just stared at him. His boxer briefs left little to the imagination; the prominent bulge announced how badly he wanted her. She stroked him through the material; Poe groaned loudly.

“Rey, kriffing hell…”

She smirked; he already looked wrecked. His good hand gripped the sink hard as she worked him through his underwear; he rocked instinctively into her touch. His breathing started coming in harsh pants; heat pooled in her core. She loved seeing him like this, almost like he was completely hers. “Rey, kriff, Sunshine, if you don’t…ah…stop…I’m gonna…”

She released him, her tongue wetting her lips. “I thought you missed me.”

“Did, but I…was promised…a naked and wet…Jedi…” he countered.

“Hmm, I think we can make that happen.” Before getting up, she peeled down his boxer briefs; Poe groaned as the cool air of the room hit his swollen aching cock. Rey kissed the tip before she stood; it took all of Poe’s self-control not to tear off her leggings, throw her on the sink and have his way with her. Given how wide her pupils were, he didn’t think she would object, but he’d imagined showering with her more times than he could count. That was what he wanted.

Rey made quick work of her own clothes, giving Poe an eyeful as she tugged her leggings down. He wet his lips as she unwound her breast band, his brown eyes filled with want. Their first time she didn’t have a chance to be shy, but Poe never made her feel self-conscious. He looked at her like she was the most stunning thing he’d ever seen.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, flyboy.” Steam had filled the fresher while they disrobed; Poe let her help him into the stall. He could have done it himself, but Rey clearly wanted to take care of him. He wasn’t about to protest. The water was still hot; Poe groaned as it hit his aching body.

“That feels amazing.”

Rey was about to grab some soap—she really did mean to wash all the dirt and sweat from his body—when Poe pulled her close. The kiss was wet and needy and perfect; Poe spun them around, so she was the one under the spray. Water soaked her hair, cascaded down her back and over her shoulders. “Poe,” she breathed. “Your shoulder…”

“Is fine,” he growled, pressing her against the wet tile. They were nearly the same height; when he rolled his hips into hers, she felt exactly how badly he needed her. “Need you, Rey. Force, I need you so much…”

Rey ran her hands over his wet skin; her core clenched. “Me too,” she panted. “Need to…feel you…inside me…”

Pain flared in his shoulder as he lifted her legs around his waist, but Poe ignored it. Rey clung to his neck with one hand; she slipped the other between them to guide him. They both moaned as he pressed against her entrance; Rey’s blunt nails dug into his neck as he filled her. “Kriff…”

“Am I hurting you?”

Rey shook her head. “No. Gods, you feel so _good.”_ She arched against the tile and wiggled her hips. “Don’t stop, Poe. Please!”

He didn’t need to be asked twice. She felt incredible, hot and wet; he’d never felt like this with anyone before. Pressing her harder against the tile, he took her with hard fast strokes, warm water sluicing down his back. Rey guided his lips to hers, kissing him sloppily as he filled her again and again and again. She tightened her ankles at his back, desperate to keep him inside her. He was large and thick, filling her perfectly with every thrust of his hips. “More,” she pleaded, sinking her fingers into his wet curls. “Kriff, Poe…”

His injured arm was starting to fail him; he wouldn’t be able to hold her up much longer. “Stay with me, Sunshine,” he murmured, slowing his strokes. “I’m gonna make you feel even better.”

Rey whined in complaint as he set her on her feet and slipped out of her. The shower wasn’t wide, but Poe managed to switch their places so that Rey faced away from him. Before she could ask what he wanted, she felt him press gently against her back, his other hand sliding over her backside. She bent over obediently, spreading her legs as wide as the shower would allow. Poe pressed a kiss to her spine; Rey shivered in anticipation.

“Ready?”

She nodded. “Please.”

Poe lined himself up, sinking into her with a loud groan. “Kriff, you feel amazing,” he muttered, rocking back and forth steadily. “You’re so wet for me, sweetheart. Wet and hot and…gods, I love being inside you.”

Rey bit her lip as he took her; she didn’t want to let go of this feeling. Poe was safe and with her and equally unable to deny this thing between them. He didn’t even try to fight it. He embraced it with everything he was. She was so close to giving her heart to him; she feared he had it already. She had to hold on to her heart for a little while longer; she couldn’t bear it if her enemy used it against her.

She had to keep Poe safe from _him._

Rey’s fingers flexed against the tile; her body was quickly spiraling out of her control. “Poe…gods…I need…”

She was already fluttering around him; she just needed a little more to get there. Poe leaned over her, his good hand slipping between her legs. Rey inhaled sharply as he deftly stroked her clit. “Yes!” she cried. “Yes, yes, yes…” She screamed as her climax washed over her, her walls clenched tightly around his thick cock. Poe grunted as he rode her through it, determined to draw out her pleasure as long as he could. Finally, he could hold back no longer, gasping her name over and over as he came hard, cock buried deep inside her.

Rey felt him against her back; his heart pounded in time with hers. As she tried to catch her breath, she found his hand and brought it to her lips, a silent thank you. Poe squeezed her waist with his other hand, waiting a few more seconds before standing upright. “It’s a good thing we didn’t try to wash first,” he murmured, amused.

“Let’s hope we can get done before the water gets cold.” Rey’s legs wobbled slightly as she stood; Poe kept a steadying hand on her hip. She turned and kissed him deeply; she wasn’t very interested in washing. But her good sense won out. She made Poe stand under the spray as she washed him from head to toe, ignoring his half-hearted protests. She paused to kiss him throughout the process, unable to resist his very kissable lips. The skin around his shoulder was starting to darken; he’d have a serious bruise in the morning. She was very careful around his injury; Poe placed a loving kiss to her temple.

“Thanks.”

She watched as the last suds washed away. “You’re welcome.” They switched places; Rey declined his offer to reciprocate. “Next time.”

“There gonna be a next time, sweetheart?”

“Hopefully not like this, but I like to think so.”

He smiled. “Me too.” It didn’t take her long to wash. He would have felt like a voyeur if she hadn’t made it clear early that she welcomed his flagrant ogling. Rey was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever known; he couldn’t _not_ stare at her.

Once she was done, she shut off the water and stepped out of the stall. Poe followed her; rather than give him his own towel, she got to work drying him off. “I can do this myself, you know. I’m not that injured.”

“Maybe I want to.”

Poe could have called her out on the flagrant mixed signals, but he didn’t. He knew how he felt about her. He was pretty sure she felt the same way, but there was something holding her back. At first, he thought it was that idiotic Jedi Code, but recently, he’d come to suspect it was something else. He wasn’t sure _what_ , but he was determined to find out. Rey deserved to be happy. Poe wanted to be the one who made her happy.

“You’re staying?” he asked, easing into his bunk. His was marginally larger than most, as he was an officer. Just big enough for two.

“I said I would.” Rey climbed in the other side; neither had bothered to dress. Poe was surprised by the way she snuggled into his side. “Do you not want me to?”

“I always want you to stay,” he confessed. He was a fool for her. He knew it. Pretending he wasn’t was so exhausting. He wanted everyone to know how he felt about the woman in his arms. However, he’d agreed to this on her terms. That was enough. For now.

“Poe…”

“Shhh, it’s okay.”

It wasn’t. She knew it wasn’t. She wasn’t being fair to him. She was asking so much of him; she felt terrible. She wanted to tell him why she was so afraid, but she was terrified of his reaction. Would he feel the same way about her if he knew the truth of her inescapable connection to their worst enemy? Someone who’d tortured him and hurt people he cared about?

She couldn’t risk it, not yet. She couldn’t risk _him._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is post TROS, minus the kiss that shall not be named. Because if you're with Poe Dameron, you're not kissing anyone else!

Rey pulled off the helmet, shock still causing her skin to tingle. She’d survived. Against all odds, she’d survived. She knew the how, but not the why. Why had the Force allowed Ben to bring her back? She’d completed Anakin’s prophecy. She’d once again brought balance to the Force. The Sith—and her grandfather—were no more. She’d saved her true family.

So why was she here?

She scrambled out of the old ship; she needed to find them. Finn and Poe were all that mattered. She needed to see them, know they were alive and well. BB-8 rolled up, almost the second her feet hit the ground. She knelt, her smile threatening to split her face. The little droid beeped happily; she gave his antenna a fond tweak.

She opened her mouth to speak, but she felt her heart lurch. Poe. He was alive! She stood quickly and hurried through the mass of beings; many of them recognized her and patted her back or shoulders as she passed. Her eyes scanned franticly, searching for her loved ones. The crowd thinned a little; she looked left, then right.

Everything stopped.

Poe. His left arm was in a sling and his flight suit was filthy, but he was alive. He spotted her a half second later, his brown eyes bright with relief. She couldn’t help it; she smiled. Finn was right beside him, also searching for her. Poe smacked his chest; Finn saw her and grinned. The trio all moved at the same moment, coming together in three way bear hug. Tears stung her eyes as she held onto her boys. She felt Finn’s silent tears of joy as Poe reached for her hand. She gripped his fingers tightly, so thankful he was alright.

“That was close,” Poe murmured.

“Too close,” Finn added. He pulled back just enough to glance meaningfully at Rey. Her eyes widened slightly as she realized that he knew. He knew what happened to her. Her death and her resurrection. Her feelings about it were so raw, so jumbled, she didn’t think she could talk about it. Not yet. All she could do was nod. Instead, she focused on Poe.

“Poe, what happened to you?”

“I got shot, remember?”

Oh. Right. When they rescued Chewie from Ren’s ship. That felt like another lifetime to Rey. So much happened in such a short time. She started to reach out, then she thought better of it. Finn glanced between them, almost like he could feel the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m gonna go check on Jannah,” Finn said as the celebration went on around them.

“Looks like Finn’s got a new friend,” Poe observed. Rey was filthy, cut in several places, but she was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He started to take a step toward her, but they still hadn’t gone public with their relationship. He didn’t know how she would react, especially after Kijimi.

Rey’s eyes caught a glimpse of something gold and shiny. She knew that helmet. “Finn’s not the only one with new friends,” she said dryly. An unfamiliar emotion curled in her belly. Again. Watching Poe flirt with Zorii hurt more than she’d ever imagined. It hurt even more than realizing that he hadn’t trusted her with that part of his past. Why didn’t she know he’d once been a spice runner? Were they together? Or weren’t they? Rey wasn’t sure anymore. Even if they were, Poe would want nothing to do with her once he knew the truth of _her_ past.

Poe followed her eyes and winced. “Sunshine…”

“Did you call _her_ that?” Suddenly, everything was too much. Too many people. Too much noise. Too much _happiness._ She turned on her heel and fled. She heard Poe calling after her, but she ignored him. She went from being happy and relieved to frustrated and upset in a matter of seconds. And she had no one to blame but herself. It had been her idea to keep their relationship—if that’s what it really was—a secret. She buried her feelings for Poe down deep, lest her enemy use him against her.

Now Kylo Ren was dead and she still didn’t feel free.

She fled to the one place she felt at home; the _Millennium Falcon_ was blessedly empty. She headed for the Captain’s quarters and promptly collapsed on the metal floor. She hugged her knees to her chest, fighting back tears. How had everything gotten so painful and confused? She felt Leia’s loss keenly; her Master was the one person who might have been able to help her.

“There you are.”

Rey didn’t even look up. “Go away, Poe.”

“No.”

She raised her head, wiping at her cheek in frustration. “What do you mean?” He’d always respected her space before; she didn’t know why that should change now.

The hurt that clouded his eyes made her heart sore. He approached slowly, until he could kneel beside her. “What do you think I mean, sweetheart?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I don’t know where this is coming from, Rey, but you’re not going to chase me off that easily.”

“You think I want that?” she snapped.

“Right now, I don’t know what you want!” He took a deep breath. “Is this about Zorii? Or Exegol? You gotta talk to me, Sunshine.”

“Yes, no…” Rey sighed. “I don’t know.”

“You know I only did that so Finn wouldn’t get suspicious. It didn’t mean anything, Rey.”

She desperately wanted to believe him. “Were you two ever…?” The words just came out; part of her really didn’t want to know, but she asked anyway.

Poe glanced away. “Briefly. Very briefly. I was younger than you are now. It’s not a time in my life that I’m proud of in case that was unclear.”

This time when he reached for her with his uninjured arm, she didn’t move away. His fingers caressed her cheek; a sense of peace washed over her. “Poe…”

“Maybe this will convince you.” He offered her a warm smile before leaning in and touch his lips to hers. It was chaste at first, his lips dry from spending hours in an X-wing, but Rey didn’t care. She curled her hand into the collar of his flight suit and held him close. Before he could pull away, she surged forward, nipping at his bottom lip. Poe groaned as her tongue slid along the seam of his lips; he opened for her instinctively. Their lips remained fused together in a heady duel; somehow, Poe found himself on his back with Rey astride him. She ran her fingers through his curls, her body singing with the pure bliss of being back in his arms.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered between kisses. “I was so scared. So scared.”

“Shhh,” he soothed, rubbing her back. “It’s alright. We’re both here now.”

She shook her head. “No, that’s not what I meant.” She placed a lingering kiss to his lips. “I’ve been afraid of…us. Not just because I’m supposed to be a Jedi, but I was afraid he’d find a way to use you, or worse, hurt you. I couldn’t…”

“Wait, who are you talking about?”

She looked away. “Kylo Ren. We are…were connected in the Force. I didn’t ask for it; I tried to block him out, but…” She swallowed. “He’s gone. The connection’s gone too. But it wasn’t fair to you. I should have told you the truth. I should have said so many things, Poe.”

She waited for him to push her away in disgust. Instead, he cupped her cheek and coaxed her to look at him. “We’re here now. You can still say whatever you need to say, Sunshine.”

Her chin trembled as her emotions threatened to overwhelm her. For weeks she’d shoved what she felt for Poe down into the depths of her heart; letting it out was frightening and liberating at the same time. Her eyes widened. Leia. This what was Leia had meant. She understood now.

“What’s wrong? Gotta admit, you’re starting to scare me a little.”

Rey bent down and kissed him. “Something Leia said. I didn’t know what she meant, but now, I think I do.”

Grief passed over his face; Rey knew he mourned Leia’s loss, like they all did. Rey knew that she’d sacrificed herself to save her son, but she could tell Poe all about that later. “Don’t leave me in suspense.”

“She said that putting yourself out there is one of the most frightening things in the galaxy.”

Poe snorted. “I’ll say.”

“But she also said that that it was liberating with the right person.”

“Yeah?”

His voice sounded so hopeful; she couldn’t help but smile. It also made what she was about to say much easier. “I love you, Poe.”

His face lit up with happiness; Rey felt tears well in her eyes again. Poe wove his fingers into her hair and gently tugged her down. Rey melted into his kiss, shivering as his stubble scratched her skin. Poe broke the kiss, their foreheads still touching. “I love you too,” he said softly. “I wanted to tell you…”

She kissed him quiet. “Keeping this a secret was my idea,” she reminded him. “And it was a stupid idea.”

“It wasn’t all bad,” he replied, smirking.

“Oh yeah?”

Poe surprised her by flipping them around, so Rey was on her back. The metal wasn’t the most comfortable thing, but she wasn’t even paying attention. The joy and desire in Poe’s eyes had her riveted. “Sneaking around the base was kinda sexy.”

Memories of some of their trysts flooded her mind. “Maybe I need a reminder, flyboy.”

“I think that can be arranged.”

Rey knew there were still things they needed to talk about, but they all faded from her mind as he kissed her. She sank her fingers into his curls, intent on keeping him as close to her as possible. His left arm was still in the sling; Poe wrenched it out so he could brace himself above her. His wound hurt, but he ignored it. Nothing was more important than having Rey back in his arms. “I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered, kissing along her jaw.

For moment, he had. Her heart squeezed; she couldn’t tell him. Not now. All she wanted was to be with him. “I’m sorry,” she replied. “I thought…”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re here.”

“It does. Poe…”

He could tell there was something she wanted to tell him, but he didn’t want to think about the past twenty four hours. He wanted her. She was all he ever wanted. “Later,” he murmured. “Tell me later.”

She nodded. “Later.”

“We’re both filthy.” His lips lingered against her ear; Rey shivered. “I think that calls for a shower, don’t you?”

“Hmm, yes, please.”

Poe forced himself up, holding out his hand for Rey. She took it, not letting go as she pulled him in for another heady kiss. They shuffled to the cabin’s fresher, still kissing, unwilling to let the other go for even a second. Rey started on his flight suit, yanking down the zipper and pushing it from his shoulders. Poe hissed, his wound still tender. “Sorry, sorry,” she murmured.

“It’s okay.” They got his sling over his head and got the top part of the flight suit off. Rey’s lips latched onto his racing pulse, sucking and worrying the skin between her teeth. Poe pressed her against the skin, reveling in the way she marked him as hers. “I’m right here, sweetheart,” he soothed, his hips rocking into hers. “I’m all yours.”

“I didn’t like you flirting with her.”

“You did a good job of hiding it.”

“Shut up.” She tugged his undershirt free and lifted it over his head. Poe winced again; this was the second time he was injured since they got together. “Don’t do it again.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He got to work on her intricate wraps, peeling the material from her torso. She had several cuts and scrapes; he pressed his lips to all of them, lingering on the one at her hairline. She looked like she’d been through hell, but she’d come back to him. Her tunic clung to her skin; Poe peeled it off gently. Rey lifted her arms up so he could unwind her breast band. He tugged on the material as she spun in place, revealing more and more of her lithe form. Poe tossed the dirty cloth away and surged forward, kissing her hard. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, needing more of his skin against hers. As they made out, he fumbled with her leggings, shoving them down over her hips. Rey gasped as he picked her up as set her on the sink. “Let me make it up to you,” he murmured. “Please.”

All Rey could do was nod. Poe tugged off her boots and leggings, leaving her bare before him. She had more bruises than he expected; he fought the urge to destroy whoever had hurt her. If he knew Rey, they were already dealt with. She didn’t need him to protect her. He loved that about her, even though it sometimes drove him crazy. Like when she went off to the wrecked Death Star by herself. Then Finn argued that he couldn’t imagine what Rey was going through; that sliced him to the core. But she was here, she was in his arms and she loved him. He saw it in her eyes; he felt it in her touch. He leaned forward and kissed her again, just because he could. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

Rey bit her lip; she could see the toll the last day had taken on him. Part of that was her fault and she hated herself for it. Poe deserved so much better; he’d been nothing but kind and patient while she figured things out. She made a silent vow to herself to tell him the truth. About everything.

Poe dropped to his knees and gently parted her thighs. Rey sucked in a breath as she gripped the sink; Poe kissed the delicate skin of her inner thighs, his stubble scratching deliciously. She was already wet for him; her core clenching in anticipation. “Poe…oh gods,” she groaned as he licked the length of her sex.

He loved doing this for her, but he didn’t get it as often as he wished. He hoped that would change now. He held her legs wide as he devoured her, teasing her clit with his lips, lapping up every drop of her arousal. She tasted even better than he remembered, tangy and sweet. Rey arched as the pressure built low in her belly; she gripped his hair hard to keep him in place. Her head thrashed as she whimpered; her hips rocked instinctively against his mouth. Every time she got close, her backed off, leaving her whining in frustration. “Poe…please…”

Her painful grip on his hair went straight to his cock; his flight suit was very uncomfortable. But he wanted to see her fall apart for him. “Tell me what you want,” he growled, teasing her some more.

Rey huffed in annoyance, but she gave in. She needed him too badly. “Make me come,” she begged. “Please!”

Poe held her legs apart as he took her swollen clit into his mouth and sucked. Hard. Rey screamed as she climaxed, her legs closing around his head. Her whole body shook as he drew it out with his lips and tongue, wave after wave of pleasure rocking her. “Oh…oh my…oh my gods,” she panted, her eyes closed.

Poe left a parting kiss to her clit, then he stood. He quickly shucked his boots, flight suit and underwear before turning to the shower. Once the water was hot enough, he turned back to Rey. “Think you can stand, sweetheart?”

She rolled her eyes. “Smug now, flyboy?”

When she stood, her legs shook. “Very,” he replied. He pulled her in for a kiss; Rey melted against him. This time he coaxed her into the stall; they both stood under the hot spray for several minutes, letting some of the dirt, sweat and grime flow down the drain. Rey found her lover’s lips; it was intoxicating, kissing him as water sluiced down their bodies. She traced his body with eager hands, relearning how he felt under her fingertips.

Poe groaned as those fingers curled around his erection. “Sunshine…kriff…”

“Miss me?”

He swore. “You know I did.” He kissed her roughly. “But then next time I’m inside you, I want to see your face. I want to look in your eyes, knowing you love me.”

Rey’s knees threatened to give out on her. “I do love you, Poe. And I’m so…”

He silenced her with another kiss. “No more apologies. We both have a lot we didn’t say. We were both scared.” He carded his hand through her soaked hair. “Taking on the entire New Order fleet wasn’t anywhere near as scary as thinking I’d lost you before I could tell you how I really felt.”

Rey kissed him; the shower hid the scalding hot tears that slid down her cheeks. At some point, she would need to reign in her emotions, but she didn’t have to do that with Poe. She was safe with him. “I wanted to tell you too, but…”

“You were scared. We both were.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Let’s get cleaned up.” He grabbed some soap and squirted a healthy amount into his palms. “Turn around.”

Rey did as he asked, sighing as he started working the lather into her skin. He was gentle, even tender, but he knew most of the places that made her shiver. He ignored the dull ache in his arm as he worked, stroking up and down the length of her back, over her round ass and hips. Rey bit her lip, his hands on her body causing heat to pool in core. Poe ducked down, washing her long legs. She braced her hands on the tile and bent over slightly, inviting him to touch her more intimately. He obliged, his wet hands sliding over her slit. “Poe…oh…oh yes…don’t stop.”

“Kriffing hell, I want you so badly, sweetheart.”

“I’m…not…stopping…you,” she breathed, rocking onto his fingers as two slid inside her.

He nearly gave in, but he held firm to his resolve. “After.” Water cascaded down her body as she rode his fingers wantonly, chasing yet another climax. Poe curled his fingers just right, stroking the sweet shot inside her. She shattered, crying out as her core clenched rapidly around his fingers. “My beautiful girl,” he murmured in approval as she trembled.

Rey panted heavily; she’d never felt anything quite like this. They’d been lovers for some time, but even after two intense orgasms, she wasn’t quite satisfied. She leaned back against the tile, still panting, as Poe washed her front. He paid special attention to her breasts, thumbing the nipples until the hard peaks stuck out against the suds. “Love you so much,” he murmured, slanting his lips over hers. Rey grabbed his neck, kissing him back passionately.

“You’re being a tease,” she chided.

“You’ve come twice,” he reminded her. “That’s not teasing.” His smirk melted into a groan as she palmed his straining erection. “Oh. That.”

“Mmmhmm.” She switched their places, letting him watch as she rinsed the suds from her body and washed her hair. Once she was clean, she picked up the soap. “My turn.”

Poe nodded eagerly. He knew she would torment him, but that would just make everything sweeter. All too often in their time together, they’d been forced to be quick or hidden. They couldn’t enjoy being together the way Poe wanted. Now, they had time.

She started at his shoulders, massaging the soap into his skin, the way he had for her. She traced the plains of his chest, his belly, the V of his hips. Poe closed his eyes, enjoying her hands on him. She moved lower, ignoring his erection in favor of washing his legs. “Sunshine…” he whined.

“Ah, ah,” she scolded. “Turn around.”

Poe did as she asked, shivering as she placed a kiss to the back of his neck. Her soap covered hands worked down his back, just behind her lips as they caressed the column of his spine. She was careful with his wound, unwinding the fabric that covered it. The skin was red and scorched from the blaster bolt; she frowned. “We’ll put bacta on this later,” she promised. She thought about healing him, but she didn’t want to do it without his permission.

Poe hummed in acknowledgement, but in truth, the pain hardly registered. He was drunk on her touch. From his lower back, her hands slid over his ass; Poe hissed as she squeezed. “You trying to kill me, Sunshine?” he groaned. He felt her pressed against his back, her hands wandering over his hips. He cursed softly as she finally took him into her hand and pumped him steadily.

“Is this better?” she asked sweetly.

Poe rocked into her hand. “Gods yes.”

“I thought you wanted to be inside me,” she said, kissing his shoulder blade.

“Kriff…more than anything, sweetheart.”

“Hmmm, me too.”

Poe’s patience snapped like a twig. He turned and pushed himself and Rey under the spray. Once all the soap was gone, he shut off the water and shooed her out of the stall. Rey’s giggle turned into a shriek of surprise as he picked her up and carried her to the bunk, depositing her in the middle of it. Water dripped onto the sheets but they both ignored it as Poe crawled in over her. Rey met his lips in a needy kiss; she welcomed him gladly between her thighs.

“This is what I wanted,” he growled, rocking against her. He hadn’t entered her yet, but she still felt like hot all over and more than ready for him.

She widened her legs in invitation. “Need you,” she murmured. “Need you right now.” She wanted to forget about everything but him and the way he felt inside her.

Poe quickly headed her plea; their soft groans echoed in the cabin as he sank into her. Rey dragged his mouth to hers, kissing him deeply. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He held her gaze as he started to move, slowly at first, but quickly picking up the pace. There had been more than one terrifying moment where he thought she was lost; he’d said things he didn’t mean. No more. From now on, everyone would know that he and Rey belonged to each other.

Rey arched in pleasure under him; he felt even better than she remembered. The idea of him flirting with someone else—even as an act—had nearly killed her. She couldn’t hide how she felt about him anymore. More importantly, she didn’t want to. Her lips found his; while he was distracted, she flipped them over. The bunk was narrow; they wound up close to the bulkhead. But they only had eyes for each other. Rey took him back in, riding him steadily. Poe sat up, his arms around her, holding her close. “That’s it,” he praised. “Ride me, sweetheart.”

Rey groaned, gripping his shoulders tight. “So good. It feels so _good.”_

He ducked his head, taking a bouncing nipple into his mouth. Rey keened, her rhythm faltering slightly as a shock of need rolled through her. “More,” she begged.

He obliged her, sucking harder, plucking at its twin with his fingers. Rey gasped and whined, her body instinctively moving faster. She cradled the back of his head, keeping him there, her hips rolling against his, keeping his cock deep inside her. The pressure built and built and built; Rey dragged his hand down to her clit. Poe took the hint, stroking the swollen nub until she went rigid in his arms, her walls clamping down around his shaft. He cursed as her high coaxed his. He climaxed with a roar of pleasure, his face buried in her shoulder, her walls pumping him dry. Rey leaned against him; he could feel her heart pounding against his chest.

“We got dirty again,” she panted.

“We can shower again later.” He kissed her forehead. “I don’t want to let you go.”

Rey kissed him sweetly. “I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.”

“Using my words against me, Sunshine? No fair.”

“You’re cute when you pout.” She touched his face then she forced herself to get up. She padded to the fresher to clean up; while she was gone, Poe peeled off the damp sheets so they could use the bunk. Now that he had Rey back safely in his arms, he was so _tired._ That final battle had taken a lot out of him.

Rey returned quickly, climbing back into the bunk to Poe’s waiting arms. “Tired, General?”

“Exhausted,” he confirmed. Rey smelled like the soap from the shower; he buried his nose in her drying hair.

“I think we should talk.” She was tired too, but she wanted to get everything out in the open. Poe deserved the whole truth.

Her tone worried him. “Are you gonna tell me what happened on Exegol?”

She nodded. “It won’t be easy to hear.”

“That’s okay. You clearly need to say it.”

She bit her lip. “Remember when I mentioned I was connected to Ren in the Force?” Poe frowned, but nodded. “It starts with that. Like I said, I didn’t ask for it. I tried to make it stop.” She caught his eyes. “That’s what I was afraid of, Poe. I thought that if he got in my head and saw how I felt about you, he’d come after you. I couldn’t risk you. And I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair to you, but I’ve never felt like this before and…”

He cut her off with a kiss. “Hey, shhh. Yeah, it kinda sucked not knowing where we stood, but it’s officially in the past.” He frowned. “It is in the past, right?”

She nodded fervently. “Yes. I don’t want to hide us anymore.”

“Oh, thank the Maker.”

“There’s more.”

He rubbed her back. “Okay.”

She didn’t know how to explain, so she just said it. “I found Palpatine on Exegol, Poe. Ren told me about my family, but I didn’t want to believe him. But it’s true.” She couldn’t look him in the eye. “Palpatine’s my grandfather.”

Poe blinked, stunned. “Sorry, did you say grandfather?”

“I’m not sure how, but it’s true. Remember the lightening on Pasaana? I could do that because I have his power.”

Poe blew out a heavy breath. “Wow, Rey. That’s, uh, a lot.” He couldn’t imagine how it must be for her. He’d seen the lightening with his own eyes, but he still couldn’t quite wrap his brain around it. Rey was a good person, a Jedi. He was certain of that.

“It gets worse.”

“How can it get worse?”

“I, um…died?”

Poe sat up, flabbergasted. “You _died?_ Rey, that’s not funny.”

“It’s not a joke, Poe. Destroying the Emperor took everything. Even with the other Jedi…I’m supposed to be dead.”

“But you’re not. You’re right here.”

“I’m only here because Ben brought me back. He gave his life for mine.”

“Ben, as in Ben Solo? Kylo Ren? We’re talking about the same person?” She nodded. Poe scrubbed his hand over his face. None of this made sense. “I don’t believe it.”

“It’s true,” she insisted. “I woke up in his arms.”

Poe’s face darkened as he stood and started to pace. The idea of that monster anywhere near Rey made him sick. He’d tried to kill her more times than Poe could count and yet, he saved her? Why? What did he get out it? He was gone now; Rey said so.

“Poe…”

“I’m sorry, Sunshine. I need a minute.”

Her face fell. “Okay.” She too got up and went to get her clothes.

“Where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here.”

She sounded so sad; Poe kicked himself. “Just because I need a minute to wrap my head around this doesn’t mean I want you to go, Rey.”

“No, it’s okay. I understand…”

He gently grasped her forearms. “Clearly you don’t.” He paused, considering his words. “I hate him, Rey. Force, I hate him so much. Sometimes I can still feel him in my head.” He sucked in a breath. “The idea of you being connected to him in any way makes me _sick._ Because you are the opposite of him, Sunshine. I know you didn’t ask for it; it’s not your fault. Gods know I’m not upset with you. I’m glad you told me the truth.”

“Poe…” She wanted to tell him about Leia, about Ben coming back to the light, but she knew it wouldn’t change anything. After what happened to him, Rey didn’t blame him one bit.

“Let me finish. You warned me that it would be hard to hear. I didn’t expect…well, any of that, but I’m a big boy. I can handle it.” He cradled her cheek. “It certainly doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

It was almost too much for her to hope for. “Really?”

“I love you too much to just give up because of who you’re related to, Rey. Leia was the daughter of Vader, remember?”

“Yes, but…”

“No buts. Sunshine, you just told me you _died_ and came back to life. You came back to me. That is all that matters.”

Rey threw her arms around him, hugging him tight. “I love you, Poe. So, so much.”

He rubbed her back soothingly. “Shhh, it’s okay. We both made it. We’ve got our whole future ahead of us now.”

“A future, huh?”

“I mean, uh, if you want?” He ducked his head, suddenly sheepish.

She ducked too, forcing him to look at her. “I definitely want, flyboy.”

Poe picked her up and spun her around. Rey shrieked, but she was so, so happy. The battle was finally over. She had everyone she loved with her and she finally—finally—had her whole life ahead of her. With Poe at her side.


End file.
